This is the second post of a two parts series, journaling about a particularly busy – and fun! – week that occurred earlier this month. In the first post, I described my two dates with two young women back to back – one of which concluding in a happy ending. But the week wasn’t finished… Today I will write about the third girl I dated that same week, and how it eventually unfolded with her.
The Third Girl…
She was a 24 years old beauty from Kenya with whom I had matched in Tinder about a week before. The conversation had been going good in WhatsApp, although I had had to put a bit of a fight a couple of times in the face of occasional non compliance. But finally we agreed on a meeting, and here I was now on Friday 8th, 7:30 pm waiting in my car at the entrance of her residential lot. She showed up at agreed time, and wow, she was pretty: very well dressed, sexy, feminine, beautiful! I liked her immediately.
A sub ideal choice of venues
But I was facing a problem regarding the choice of venue tonight. I normally tend to avoid going to the same venue with two different girls within such a short timing, and this week I had already exhausted two good lounge bars with my first date, and two more with my second date! There was a fifth cool place I knew, but on Friday night I anticipated a lot of social pressure there! I was basically running out of venues for the date…
So for the dinner, I decided to take her to a restaurant. I wouldn’t take a girl to a restaurant for a first date normally. It is such a cliche of conventional dating, and sends the wrong message. But I had already used up my usual bars for the week, and we had to eat something!
When the restaurant was over, we decided to go and try a lounge in the same hotel, to get some drinks. Another thing I wouldn’t normally do: bringing a girl to a place I haven’t already tested before. And indeed the lounge turned out too classy, with too many people and little room for intimacy.
When we had finished our drinks, she said she wanted to see the “club” (a cocktail bar with a DJ in the same hotel) before we left. So we entered the club, stayed there for two minutes, didn’t like the music, then headed towards exit.
The Mishap
On the way out of the club, as I was passing near the bar, I briefly caught the eyes of a pretty Indian girl sitting there. My date was following me hand in hand, and the “encounter” with the girl at the bar lasted for about one second, then we were out of the club… And then I realized it was the flight attendant I had in my bed last night. She saw me, I saw her, she must have noticed I was not alone. I didn’t have time to see who she was talking to, but let’s just bet it was a man. Gosh, what were the odds of that happening? But wait… Didn’t she tell me that she was assigned to stay at home by her airline company? and therefore couldn’t go out this evening?
The next day, I noticed that her WhatsApp profile picture had disappeared. Probably blocked… Oh well. I suppose that these things have to happen sometimes.
The date overall
My Kenyan girl didn’t notice anything though. Though the choice of venues was sub optimal, the date actually went well. There was a good vibe, she was nice and fun, and I got physical with her as per my usual routine.
All in all, it was a sub ideal date template, and as a result we only started getting close to each other quite late in the evening. So there would be no attempt to bring her home. For that to happen, we should have had finished dinner and drinks by around 10pm. But it was now past midnight, we were just out of the club, she just grabbed a taxi back home, and I returned to my own home scratching my head about the mishap with my cabin crew…
The ideal date template
So this raises the question of how exactly a date should be designed, ideally. And the answer to that is that you should always know what is your end goal, and keep this end goal in mind, from the beginning of the first date.
Your goal should be to take her to bed, and you should design your whole around this objective. Even if you’d like to keep the girl and make her your regular girlfriend, you should still aim to take her to bed very early.
In order to do that, you need to achieve a few things:
- Avoid traditional dating cliches – such as the wining and dining in a formal restaurant. That is counterproductive because it actually puts her in position of control: as per the cliche, she is the “lady”, and you are her “devoted white knight”. That is the underlying frame! And it will compel her to delay sex, because that’s what “ladies” are supposed to do!
- Make her comfortable, physically, and emotionally
- Isolate her into your seduction location, where you sexually escalate and conclude
The timing is also very important. You need to know by what time you should be finished. In my case, I seek to have concluded my seduction before midnight, or 00:30 max. Later than that would risk to run into unnecessary objections (if she has to wake up early for work the next day, for instance…). Allow two hours for escalation and sex to take place at your location. So it means you should end the date and “pull” towards your location, 2h to 2h30 before that. In my case, that means being in my home by 10 pm ideally.
You can now see, dear Reader, why my date template was not ideal with my Kenyan girl. Having ran out of venues, I was obliged to go to more “traditional looking” venues. So (1) was missed. I did manage to get her comfortable (2)… but at a much later time (almost midnight), because of all the delays involved in changing venues. So it was ultimately too late to attempt to take her home (3).
And this story (almost) illustrates how a badly designed date can in fact lead to you losing the girl!
The template I usually follow
My usual date template therefore runs very similar to what I used with the Indian cabin crew:
- Drinks / dinner very early in the evening. Ideally only in one venue (it saves time), or otherwise two venues totaling about one hour each, a little more if I can start very early.
- The choice of venue should be quite laid back, not too crowded, not too noisy, with possibility of becoming physically closer, without worrying about who could be looking at us. In a word: conducive of intimacy.
- The venue can be classy although it is not a requirement. I have made the template work in a coffee shop, equally well as in a lounge bar. The “classy” bit is more because it’s a part of my lifestyle. It casts a feel of “conspicuous consumption”.
- The venue should be close to the “seduction location” (i.e. my home, or hotel room). 5 to 10 minutes of commuting time is ideal. If a longer commuting time is required, it can really kill the ongoing good vibe.
- The idea is to use two hours of face time to connect with her emotionally, and make her overall comfortable with my physical presence as well.
- At maximum 10pm, I end the date, and take her home under a pretext.
- At home, I build up some comfort again, put some quiet music, and escalate.
That is my usual template. I have refined it over the last five years of dating life, and made it work for me many times over. And you can now see how my successful date with the flight attendant fitted into this model.
What happened on the following week
So here ends my account of the “fantastic week” started in my previous post. But the story wouldn’t be complete without telling what eventually happened with this beautiful Kenyan girl. So here it is!
You now understand, dear Reader, why I was concerned the whole first date with her looked very much like a traditional date: it establishes the wrong frame!
And soon I realized my concerns were founded. When I hinted about coming to my place over a cooking date, she replied that this would “come in its right time”. Exactly like I described above, she was now holding back on coming in my home alone with me. And I didn’t like it, because once these objections are voiced out, they soon become reality. That makes it much harder to conclude with her!
To reverse the wrong frame, I decided to pull back and make her chase me. We had already agreed on meeting the following Saturday. So on the Wednesday, I texted her: “We are going to put this meeting on hold.” When she asked why, I answered “Because I said so.” I did let her marinate a little, and when she insisted, I told her it was because I questioned her actual interest in me. I implied that she was more interested in getting nice dates in nice venues, than in the man himself. The tactics worked wonders. She qualified herself, explaining that she actually liked me etc… and did put quite a convincing fight into getting the agreed second date back.
Great! So I finally agreed on a “non classy” date for Saturday.
The next date on 16th of March
We went to a simple Kenyan restaurant in the food court of a local mall. It was a simple meal, simple date, nice and well and cheap. She had made herself a little piece of art. She was dressed up in a white jumpsuit with a sexy cleavage, which was fitting her sexy African curves, and hinting at a very fine behind! Her makeup was sophisticated and artistic. Overall she was beautiful!
When we finished the dinner “Kenyan style”, I took her to a lounge bar (that 55th floor place again, the place I first thought about bringing her last time). We got ourselves some drinks, chilled, got close to each other, had a nice bonding time, and even danced a little bit. I had her in my arm for a couple of selfies, she was resting her head on my shoulder, we were kissy kissy, it was all cute and nice. And it was now about 10pm, I settled the bill and took her to my car.
“Are you tired? Because I was thinking we could listen to classical music”. “Where?” “It’s in my home!” (I loved that from the date with the Indian flight attendant). She didn’t answer, which I took as a silent consent. The next few minutes, we were both in my home. She had an initial bit of hesitation, but as soon as she got in, she was comfortable.
At home
I put the classical music on, and made her sit comfortably on the couch… And soon I was escalating her.
We only went up to some point, and she pulls back. “I can’t do this!”. She explained that this is happening too fast.
But I pulled back too, and affected a more distant body language. She sensed I was becoming distant.
Her: I see you are mad at me.
Me: I’m not mad. But you know, you just robbed us of our moment. These things happen in the right time, and maybe the right time was now. I was subtly implying that there may not be another time.
Her: Should I call an Uber now? she was asking if I was pushing her out.
Me: Of course no, you can stay. And I now knew I had the green light to continue!
She returned back by my side… I got closer to her, started kissing her again, her neck, her breasts… There was no mistaking her deeper and slower breath rhythm: she was now getting horny.
Making love to her was a real pleasure.
Yours,
