Let us start with a disclaimer. I am against any kind of “arrangement” that involve having sex with a girl in exchange for cash payment of any sort. It is against my own principles, and I am not doing that any time soon. In fact, I don’t need anything of the sort to get some pretty women in my bed.
And you, dear Reader, if you think you need to “bait” women with money or other material benefits in order to have her, you are missing out on the better half of women’s psychology. Directly throwing money at a woman is not a requirement, and even a drawback, for successful dating. You do not need to provide material benefits to a woman in order to get her sexual favors, especially if you are a successful man.
I was therefore very skeptical about this… but I finally decided to give it a try. So I created a profile on a major Sugar Dating site, and gave it a go! What follows are my findings after one month of experiments in the Sugar Dating world. Read on!
Why you don’t need to pay women if you are a successful man
If you are a financially very well off gentleman, you should naturally be attracting women, for many reasons:
- You are on top of the social order, in a position of power
- You are in a position to offer a safe and comfortable life
- Your children will be more likely to be successful in life as well:
- inheriting from you whichever qualities brought you to the top, and
- benefiting from more favorable material conditions during their upbringing
That, in itself, should make women want to meet you – without the additional need of throwing money at her. But the majority of men, being inherently bad with women, fail to understand that. Instead, they persist in the belief that sex has to be transactional.
If this is you, read this: your money will certainly appeal to her materialistic side. It will NOT, however, make her horny and want to sleep with you – per se. If she does indeed sleep with you in the end, it will be for the wrong reason! It is a tricky path, too, because the smart Baby may try to get away without putting up her part of the transaction.
Instead, she should be sleeping with you mainly because you are a sexy, attractive man, and you are making her horny. The potential upsides of being with you should only come in as an important but secondary benefit. This is what you should be getting at!
The Sugar Dating site, and my main findings
It nevertheless follows that I should be able to get girls from this site without the need to enter in a “mutually agreeable arrangement”. This is exactly what I meant to check for myself by signing up to the biggest of these sites. You probably know the name, it’s the biggest of them all – but I don’t want to explicitly mention it here.
So I created a profile, uploaded a few pics, filled the required “Net worth” and “Annual income” fields (and frankly no one is checking the numbers you fill in), then gave it a go. The first surprise is that you won’t even be able to read the messages you get if you don’t go into the paid subscription. Alright then, I paid for one month.
On the topic of “paying” dating apps
I am a regular user of dating apps, and up to now I have always been extremely strict, so far in time, to never pay a penny on these apps: again, it is against my principles. But sooner or later, you realize that you are competing with guys who are actually paying. You come at a disadvantage. The paying guys will get priority messaging and other similar advantages, and access the better girls before you do. And these are usually the same guys who don’t understand women, and think it’s about throwing money… They are the ones who get access to the better girls in priority!
It is a shame, but that’s the way it is.
So as a regular user of online dating apps, I am in fact doing myself a disservice by staying on the unpaid side… And considering softening my stance on paying for apps!
However, in this Sugar Dating site, not paying is just not an option for men. You don’t need to pay to create a profile, but if you want to access your mailbox, you need to be a paid subscriber. The premise of this site is that you are a well-off, successful gentleman. Since they don’t actually check the net worth and income numbers that you provide when you create your profile, I suppose it is the only way they have to make sure the guys are affluent enough. Plus, it’s good business!
The paid subscription (80$ a month) is a little expensive, but for a one month trial it is fine.
Main findings
Without further ado, here are my main findings.
- Compared to Tinder and the likes, in general the profiles are more pretty and classy. It is upscale dating!
- The tables are turned. YOU are now the hot commodity. The girls are now the one actually browsing and liking and messaging you first! It is like Tinder upside down. You wait, and the messages come in!
- The quest for the Sugar Daddy is a global one. In one month, received likes and messages every day from girls in all parts of the world: USA, Venezuela, Belize, Cuba, South Africa, Morocco, France, Switzerland, England, Spain, Romania, Ukraine, Netherlands, UAE (Dubai), Saudi Arabia, Russia, India, Indonesia, Malaysia, etc… just from the top of my head. Incredible!
- You see all kind of crazy things. Unbelievable! One girl from Russia tried to sell me her naked pictures (LOL!). Some girls want to have a “platonic arrangement” (no sex!) – but the poor guy is welcome, however, to assist the little Princess with paying her bills and school tuition. There is also the 200 pounds girl who thinks she can get her share of the cake. But these are the minority fortunately!
- The majority of what I saw is some expectation for a paid plane ticket. The cute kitten “loves vacations” and is “passport ready”. But well, that’s to be expected coming from girls who are hitting on guys on the other side of the planet – so there may be some selection bias here.
- And yes, as expected, there are also some girls who are militaristic about getting into an “arrangement” involving money. I was initially very guarded against this sort of girls, but fortunately they were only a minority.
The importance of conveying yourself right
I suspect, though, that many of these girls adapt their behaviors to the guy they are talking to: if you have the right frame, they will remain well behaved and refrain themselves from their most crazy requests. For instance, I chatted for some time with a bombshell in California who mentioned about her Law School tuition fees on her profile, but never actually asked me for any kind of money.
One thing is sure: the girls in this site are not used to deal with a man with any level of game above the ground! So if you DO have game, you will stand out big time from the crowd.
The sugar-killing frame I used
In the course of the many interactions I had, I progressively came up with a rock solid sugar-killing frame. It goes along these lines:
Her: so what sort of arrangement are you looking for?
Me: Well I am not into call girls. Not my thing. It is the majority here.
Her: hahaha – bashing the other girls, then explaining she’s not like them
It is just genius! In order to go against this frame and ask for a monetary arrangement, she would have to implicitly admit being a call girl. And if you have read my post “The second key to understanding women”, you know that a girl normally wouldn’t do that 🙂
The other benefits of this frame, is that (i) I managed to actually not answer the question, and (ii) I get her to qualify herself (“I am not like that”).
Let us now describe a few sample interactions that stood out.
Some interesting interactions
A typical “militaristic” girl
I eventually found out that girls who are very much into a sort of paid arrangement, try to take you out of the internal messaging system, into WhatsApp. This is because, I suspect, the Site is trying to distance itself from prostitution and escort services. They must be monitoring the messages for what looks like direct cash offers. The girls know that of course (and probably some of them have been already kicked out), so they prefer to take it out of the Site’s messaging.
But on my first week in the Site, I didn’t know that yet. Soon, I received a message from a young woman, based in Malaysia. She immediately asked me to switch to WhatsApp. It went like this:
Her: sends three pics unsolicited. Pretty, decent pictures, warm smile.
Me: polite comment
Her: Can I suggest an arrangement (at this stage we barely even introduced ourselves).
Me: It’s a bad start but go ahead
Her: What is a bad start?
Me: If it doesn’t start by getting to know each other. So go ahead!
Her: I apologize
Me: No worries. (we both eject)
In her mind, I was sold to her the moment I saw her pics. She must be used to having men drooling in awe, and my response must have taken her aback. It’s exactly like I said, the girls here are not used to deal with a man with any level of game.
This convo also shows something typical: the business minded girls will bring the topic of “arrangement” very early on. Thanks to that, the girls like this will be spotted almost immediately so there is no wasted time.
One way to kill their frame in the womb is to answer “how about we keep it here for now” whenever they look in a rush to switch to WhatsApp. Our lovely Sugar Babies will have to behave themselves or else get kicked out of the Site!
The crazy good girl from Belize
She was 30 years old, good looking, Hispanic style, smiling and spontaneous. She was actually the owner of a real estate business in Belize. Had two adopted children. Had been recommended the site by some Sugar Baby friends.
She was actually looking for a decent boyfriend, rather than a sugar arrangement. We got along well, and started exchanging on WhatsApp regularly, even had a few video calls. A very decent woman. I would have met her, but man, she’s in Belize! That’s pretty much the exact other side of the planet, from where I am.
She was very excited by me, talked about visiting me and even started to look into hotel prices in Doha… But then she rationalized that as a mom she should better spend money on her own kids – but then, why men wouldn’t feel the same way, I wonder? Soon, she started expecting me paying for the trip.
But I wouldn’t pay a plane ticket for a girl I never met. It is not just that it communicates bad things about you: imagine if she came along and then decided she can’t have sex with you… you would be stuck with a bitchy woman at home and no sex, while still being obliged to provide her with shelter and food. Instead, I would rather travel myself first to meet the girl: if it does not work, I still have the option of meeting some other girls!
But again, this woman lives on the other side of the planet, so I didn’t see myself traveling all the way there. We kept chatting and video calling for about a month, then it ran out of steam, and slowly died. If she had been in Europe, for instance, it would have been a very different story!
The “time is money” Sugar Baby from Riyadh
This one was actually a Muslim American girl, living in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, where she was working as an independent contractor in internet marketing. As austere as life in Saudi Arabia can be, she told me she actually liked it there!
We initially had a good mutual vibe, so we soon switched to WhatsApp, chatted, exchanged pics and videos, and discussed about meeting up. She was the first one to put the conversation into sexual territory, saying that she was a virgin and intended to stay such, but there were “other ways”. LOL.
I already had told her that I am not into the pay-for-sex sort of thing. “I am not asking money for sex”, she said. “But I need to be compensated for the money I am not earning while away from my daily job”. So she was just asking for a “small compensation fee”. Plus the plane tickets, of course…
I get it: time is money! The opportunity cost kind of thing. LOL!!! So that was a NO of course, as per my principles, but I did certainly laugh my ass off. These women are going to great length to justify to themselves what they are doing!
Note: This American girl was the only one who managed to deflect my sugar-killing frame, which otherwise worked great in general.
Conclusion: Proof of concept
As mentioned above, in a month time, I’ve been liked and messaged from women of all parts of the world – some of them in places too far away to be possibly leading to anything realistically (like the Belize girl, or the Californian bombshell I mentioned). It is one of those characteristics of women: they don’t look at the technical details (such as you living 20000 km away…) and leave you with the trouble of making things happen.
Unfortunately, the local Sugar Dating market (Doha, the city where I live as an expat), turned out to be too small – 130 registered babies, but most of them being inactive. It meant that the horizon was quickly cleared. But I still managed to use this dynamics to my advantage, collecting phone numbers from beautiful girls in countries I would be interested to visit: a few numbers from France, one number from Switzerland, and another from Indonesia. Unfortunately, I may not be able to travel before at least end of May. So hopefully some more good news to report here!
But the important thing is, as detailed in my previous post, I still managed to get one sugar baby in bed! Read the detailed report here.
Which therefore establishes the proof of my point: exactly as I anticipated, it is possible to use a Sugar Dating site and get women from it, without getting tricked into “agreements” – provided you have a decent game. Yes, there are some girls who are here to genuinely meet and connect with a higher status guy.
When you could consider using a Sugar Dating Site
If you have enough game so as not to let yourself framed into the “little wallet with legs” role, then go for it! The door might not be open for long though, because many girls are complaining of fake profiles. It is probably only a matter of time before the Site asks to justify your wealth.
Also, if you are a married man with a family, or a man with a busy career, and have very little time to spare to get girls, it would make some sense to use a Sugar Dating site in order to easily get some discreet, one off arrangements – provided you are affluent enough to afford it, and provided you do not get addicted to it.
But otherwise, or if you believe that you can’t have sex without a transaction of some sort, you should absolutely avoid sugar dating sites, and learn how to get girls in your bed instead.
Yours,
Due Credits: The City Bachelor has been pioneering Sugar Dating game for some time, and opened my eyes to the topic. I recommend you check his content.
