This article is the first in a series of posts on the topic of sexual escalation. Sexual escalation is the culmination of the courtship phase, where the two are getting sexual for the first time. It marks a turning the point for the interaction, when dating is over, and a new phase in the relation begins. Only then does the interaction with her becomes “real”.
Today, we will start this series by reminding the Reader why pushing for sexual escalation early in the courtship process will actually help you succeed in your attempt.
So, why should you proceed to sexual escalation early into dating?
It is interesting to see that many men struggle with the idea of getting fast to sexual escalation. And I don’t blame them, having been there myself for so many years. Deep down, there is this erroneous belief that our sexual desire will not be well received, and, by expressing it too early we might actually lose the girl.
By holding such beliefs, we are making things harder than they need be!
Because we are actually ignoring two realities.
Girls are sexual beings, too
They have sexual desires, too, and much more than you would think. After all, they are driven by a deep instinct of procreation, and guess how we procreate?
There are two important differences with men, though.
- Their sexual drive works differently than ours. It runs at the unconscious level, beneath the radar, until it reaches their awareness, and then, it is like a sudden, burning fire that has to be extinguished.
- Because society is so judgmental about their sexuality, they cannot afford to show their sexual side too openly.
So it may well be that she is burning to fuck you, but just cannot show it, until you made the first move – because that would be “slutty”! Plus, at the beginning, she may not even be aware of her inner desire for you.
Girls expect men to make sexual advances
They know about men’s sex drive!
If you make a move, well, you were expected to do so. She may, or not, be receptive and open to it, but she will always accept the fact that you made a move. You are just being a man.
But if you don’t make a move, however, you have a problem:
- It implies that she is not physically desirable, and this is not an idea she is ready to accept: she would rather readily reject you, as in “who is this guy anyway?”
- You are not doing what men are supposed to do, and it implies that, figuratively, you are not a man – not of the sexual kind, anyway.
Expect bad things to happen if you don’t make a move!
The problem is, she is going to make an impression of where you stand, very fast, and once her impression is formed, it is going to be very hard to change it.
What you achieve by moving fast
Capitalizing on the window of opportunity
So she is going to make herself an impression of what sort of man you are, very fast. If you don’t put the interaction in a sexual light soon enough, she may very well conclude that you are “the boring type” – to her disappointment! Maybe that was just friendship, after all!
Once she made her mind, it is going to be very hard to change her perception of you.
In sum, there is a window of opportunity. And what you’ll discover is, these windows will always be closing faster than you would like.
Once the window is closed, you will likely witness one of the following:
- She is now considering you as “just a friend”
- She starts becoming evasive
- Or she doesn’t answer your texts anymore
- Or she suddenly becomes very busy, and don’t have time to meet you anymore
- Etc…
At this point, she just stopped viewing you in a romantic way!
You avoid all these annoying outcomes by getting to sexual escalation while the window is still open!
Scoring high as a sexy man
Girls will very instinctively screen you for three sexy masculine qualities:
- Sexual aggressiveness: the character of a man who smoothly, relentlessly and aggressively pursues sex.
- Leadership: the man’s ability to be on the driver seat.
- Status: at the very least, the man should keep his own status slightly above hers.
The guy exhibiting the traits above is extremely sexually appealing to her. This is the kind of man she needs to fuck urgently! Guys scoring high on these three counts tend to be on the top of the sexual pyramid. They have no shortage of sexual partners, and they are effectively chased by woman. Ask me how I know?
Make no mistake, your ability to provide her with money, leisure and safety only comes in a distant 4th position.
By getting early to the sexual escalation stage, you managed to score high on the three counts:
- You were aggressively but smoothly pursuing sex
- You led the courtship to success against her (token) defenses
- And you kept your status high by making her submit to you
This is immensely attractive to her. She is always screening for these qualities in a man, in an unconscious, passive way.
Cementing the interaction
Face this fact. Until you successfully bring the interaction in sexual territory, you are merely a possibility for her, and you could very well be forgotten overnight if you make a misstep…
It is a hard truth, but that is the reality of dating: a mating dance that is supposed to lead to mating. And if you don’t get to mating fast enough, you are going to be dismissed!
This interaction only really begins once you have made love to her. Only then, does this story really starts to count for her.
By getting to sexual territory, you are cementing the interaction. Only now, and if you so decide, will this interaction become real.
Common objections
How about the human connection? The romance?
I am all in favor of real human bonds and romance. BUT if you don’t make the interaction become real by cementing it soon enough, you will miss the window of opportunity and all this will have been for nothing.
How romantic was the date will only matter if you manage to keep her. And the window of opportunity is usually closing faster than you would like.
Besides, a perfectly executed first date that leads smoothly into hours of sex is as romantic as it can be. If your idea of a romantic date is two hours of face to face conversation with her in a restaurant, you might be surprised to discover that this is what she calls a boring date!
For her, a boring date is when she finds out that the guy is overly slow and cautious, with weak leadership. If, in addition, he treats her like a little princess (and lowers his own status below hers), she will feel little respect and attraction for him: game over!
I’ve been guilty of this myself for years before I discovered the other side of the coin!
Get to sexual escalation fast and show her you are a manly, confident man. You will have all the time you want to build a real romance and quality human bond, after that!
But I want more than just a one night stand
Once you went to bed with her, it is up to you to decide what kind of relationship you want to have with her moving forward.
- Leave it here? No problem. At this stage, if you have followed my advice of not misrepresenting your intentions, there is no big emotional involvement (yet), and there will be no tears involved.
- Seeing each other casually? Why not! You will discover that girls are much more open to this kind of arrangements than they care to admit. Having a casual relation, after all, allows her to keep some freedom, avoid the dramas of a full relationship, etc… which also have its appeals to her.
- Taking her as a girlfriend? Equally possible!
The fact that you went to bed fast with her, doesn’t preclude the kind of relationship you will have with her. It is still up to you to decide!
I have had all the three cases mentioned above, many times over. Some girls I only saw once. Some others that I kept seeing casually for months or years. And some girls that I kept as my girlfriend.
I have had my current girlfriend this way: on our first date, we spent two hours by the pool, after which I told her we should go and have some rest in my hotel room. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening having multiple rounds of sex. It was a great fist date, and we both remember it fondly. I have been with her three years, now!
But my girl is not like this?
You may think that this doesn’t apply in your case, because:
- “my girl is from a more conservative background”, or
- “the culture in my part of the world is more conservative”
I seriously doubt it. From all what I have seen, the archetype of the sexy man described here has some universal character. I have personally validated it across cultures, education levels, and continents. Fast sexual escalation has worked with conservative girls as well as more liberal minded girls.
Besides, if you view girls in terms of “sluts” vs “unicorns”, well, you are being judgmental. It is not your fault. That’s the works of Society, trying to achieve societal order by shaming her sexuality.
But you will find that the same girl is perfectly capable to exhibit both behaviors, sexually conservative or liberal, depending on the man in front of her. She is (rightly) afraid of how the man may judge her. She will hesitate to show him her liberal side, if she thinks he could label her as a “bad girl”.
By exhibiting judgmental behavior, you are making it harder for yourself! You would better learn about female sexuality, and accept it the way it is. When you’re truly non judgmental, girls will find it easier to open up to you and show you another side.
If you think early sexual escalation will not work because your girl is different, you should probably ask yourself if this is a limiting belief!
Your girl is probably not a special case!
Conclusion
It takes some balls to lead a girl to the bedroom just shortly after having met her – but this is exactly why she will love it. And once you start doing this regularly, you will have some pleasant surprises:
- it becomes easier with experience
- girls are more open to the idea than you imagined
- it actually makes memorable first dates
But the best part is this: the girls you got this way will keep coming back to you over the years. When you thought the story was over many years ago, you have the (pleasant) surprise of seeing a girl popping back on your phone out of the blue: “Hi dear!”. In fact, things are never really over.
Just in the last three months, I had the surprise to see some girls I met in 2016, 2017, 2018 coming back in my favorite messenger apps.
If this is not the proof that a smooth, fast sexual escalation leaves a lasting, positive impression?
A man who is able to swipe her on her feet in the course of only one date will always stand out in her memory. It’s only a small minority of men who are able to do that, and from her point of view the majority go men she meets are “boring and lame”, to employ my girlfriend’s own words.
So, dear Reader, go and stand out over other men and smoothly swipe her on her feet. She will be thankful you did!
Yours,
