Say you have decided to improve yourself and devote time to learn how to consistently get girls: so now what? How do you get started in Seduction? What are the main steps you need to follow? And how long can you expect before you get consistently good at that?
Whatever your broader objectives with women may be, I really recommend you devote some time to becoming an experienced Seducer. Even if all you want is getting yourself a girlfriend (which in my opinion should be your end goal), you will be in a much better position to choose a girl suitable for you, once you know how to quickly and smoothly get together with girls in general. Plus, if men were overall better at choosing their partner, we would have stronger, more stable couples.
Without further ado, here is The Doctor’s Guide to Getting Started in Seduction.
Your objectives: what to expect and what not
That One Special Girl
If there is this one special girl that you have been around for some time, and hope to find a way to finally get her, I will have to stop you right here. Read this, and read it again:
- There is no magic trick in this world that will guarantee you to get any one specific girl.
- The longer you have been around a given girl, the smaller your chances of ever getting anywhere. The fact is, women are open to sexual advances mostly at the very beginning of her interaction with the man. Later on, it is much harder, and much more unlikely to happen.
If you have been stuck with one particular girl awaiting to finally get her favors, chances are that your window of opportunity is long gone. If this is you, here is the best advice I can give you: make your move now, and if you get anything else than a firm yes, move on to another girl and never look back.
And never, ever get stuck again. You meet a girl, you propose her out right away, then get her in bed. Don’t turn around her for months. If it doesn’t work, you move on to another girl who will be more open to your advances.
Getting a Girlfriend
This is a good, noble objective. Ultimately the odds are huge that we end up in a relationship with a woman. Even if you are not thinking of getting settled yet, learning about relationships is still a necessary part of your education. Know that women are masters at relationships, so it is good to have a little bit of experience here before settling with the future mother of your kids. So yes, getting a Girlfriend should definitely be your ultimate goal here.
Yet, there is a huge amount of things to be learned by simply getting exposure to a lot of girls. First, with experience under the hood, you will get access to “better” girls, more beautiful, better educated, and overall better persons, than you probably are capable of getting without experience. Second, you will gain a real insight into female psychology that is going to be invaluable later on when you settle.
So if your goal is just to get enough Seduction tips to finally get your first girlfriend and forget about it, I have a better option to propose to you:
Becoming good at getting girls
This is what I am talking about here! Read on…
How much time should you devote to this if you want to become good
We are talking about acquiring a real skill. You can compare that to, say, learning how to play piano.
In general, you should expect to devote somewhere around 15 to 20 hours of work a week, very consistently each week for 2 to 3 years, towards your objectives.
That time includes the time you need to meet new women, and the time required to take them on dates.
You should, however, expect to get some positive results within the first year. If you decide to commit yourself to getting girls and devote the required amount of time, there is no reason why you shouldn’t start having some success within a 6 months time frame.
But again, it is not about just getting one girl. It’s about becoming good at getting girls, and it will take you much more than just one girl to get there. So be patient and put in the amount of effort and time necessary to succeed.
Getting started in Seduction
A note on your personal appearance
Your appearance is not what will get you girls – there are other things that will literally trump appearances.
But it is important enough nevertheless, in so far as it helps you get “a foot in the door” with the girl you plan to conquer. Thus a good appearance will help you get things started with her, it will be the difference between remaining a perfect invisible stranger to her, and appearing on her radar.
While you could spend years improving your body and appearance, there are a few things that you could address within three months, and I recommend you to spend the time to do that as early as possible.
Fix your overweight
If you are overweight, know that it is in fact very easy and fast to lose 10 / 15 kg of body fat – if you know how to do it right. I have written elsewhere on the topic in this blog, but in a nutshell, the likely cause of your excess weight is some bad dietary habits. You are probably eating too much take away / junk food, too much (fast) carbohydrates, and too many calories. The easiest steps that you can take immediately are:
- Don’t purchase processed or take-away food. Instead, prepare your own food from fresh ingredients
- Avoid industrial sauces and vegetable seed oils. No more Heinz or Ketchup or mayonnaise. No more sunflower or other seed oils. Use virgin olive oil or coconut oil instead, and with moderation!
- Cut on all forms of sugars. That includes the sodas, packaged fruit juices, cookies, muffins, cakes, energy bars, cereal breakfasts…
- Cut on grains and all its derivatives: rice, bread, pasta, pizzas, bakery…
- Eat more fresh meat, eggs, fish, shrimps… And more green vegetables.
- Leave the starches out, too. Bye bye mashed potatoes and chips.
Just taking the steps above will drop your weight at a rate of 3 to 5 kg per month – provided that you stick to them and don’t allow yourself “cheat days”. It just works! And does not require even a minute on a treadmill.
I personally deeply believe that the “cholesterol problem” is a wrong problem. But even if you don’t share this belief, remember that in the end you will be much healthier with 15 kg less weight on you, and it is certainly worth allowing a temporary higher blood cholesterol for three months.
Fix your style
Having a good style is a sign of healthy self esteem, and women will love you more for that.
Spend some time investigating different men styles, and find one that fits you. Purchase the nice new fitting clothes. Try to look like you spend more than 100$ a year on clothes / shoes / appearance.
Get yourself the hairstyle / facial hair / clean shave that fits your chosen style.
In general, try to have a personal style. You may have to experiment between several styles before settling for one, and that’s OK.
If you are too short (say, less than 5’11” or 180 cm), you may consider wearing boots.
Also, always work on fixing your posture. You should be standing tall, with a straight back, shoulders back and down, and looking straight in front of you.
Fix your mindset
Let me be super clear. The conventional dating model widely advised and conveyed in novels, movies and magazines, is counter-productive. You may succeed, yes… after all this is how probably 70% of couples are formed in the Western world, and it was the way I got my first girlfriends before marriage. But it is very inefficient (e.g. success once in every ten dates…), and will cause you much frustrations in the process. What I am talking about here is a process which can get you a higher rate of success (e.g. 50% to 75% of your dates), and get 20+ girls a year when you apply yourself to it.
Also there is a number of men out there who believe in purchasing their women, one way or another. Either they directly exchange money for sex. Or they lavish some sugar babies with plane tickets, five star hotels, expensive wining and dining – a slightly more refined version of the latter. Or believe that it is about showcasing money to the woman they date.
It is coming from a misunderstanding: Yes, women have a need for the safety that a man can provide, but it is not all. In fact, it is only secondary. The primary need is for a smooth, sexually aggressive man – the sort of man that makes plenty of babies. Your money alone will not earn you loyalty nor respect from your woman. Your ability to smoothly and regularly escalate her sexually will.
If you (somewhat) recognize yourself in the above, it means you have a lot of reading to do to absorb the proper mindset. I suggest you start by reading my post: How your mindset affects the outcome of your date.
The right, winning mindset to have that will help you succeed is this:
You will win her over quickly and smoothly against her own defenses because you are irresistible.
- Win her over: means get her into your bed.
- Quickly: you don’t turn around her for months. One or two dates, maximum. More than that is overkill and counterproductive.
- Smoothly: your Seduction flows naturally, it “just happens”
- Against her own defenses: Because a woman who respects herself will put you some barriers for you to overcome.
- Because you are irresistible: You have power over women, and you are aware of it. Self confidence!
Find a way to get plenty of dates
This is absolutely essential.
Seduction will never guarantee you of getting any one particular girl. Sorry, there is no secret technique, nor any cleverly crafted text message, that will ever guarantee you get that One Special Girl you’ve been thinking of.
However, a good level in Seduction will guarantee that, out of 10 women on a date, you could take up to 8 of them in bed.
So, Seduction is, by nature, an exercise in large numbers.
In addition to that, consider that you will need a lot of trial and errors before you get to do it right. So your first step in this journey will be to find a way to get plenty of dates, and I mean plenty.
Here is a good objective to aim for within your first one or two years of learning this: ten to fifteen first dates in a period of three consecutive months.
Yes, this is what it takes!
Cold approach vs online dating
These are typically the two main ways of getting these many dates, although not the only ones.
You will hear some voices out there telling you that “cold approach is what the Real Seducers do”, i.e. online dating is not real seduction. This is in my view utter bullshit. Once you managed to take the girl on a date, it won’t make a difference how you met her.
What matters is if you manage to get them to bed consistently – no matter how you met them initially.
Pick whatever approach you feel comfortable with. Here are, in my opinion, the pros and cons of each of them.
Cold approach
You walk to a girl, introduce yourself, chat her, then set a date with her. If you can master that, then you can get girls from real life no matter the circumstances! You can meet women literally anywhere and make things happen. It offers an unprecedented level of freedom that no other method can provide.
On the negative side however, it could take hundreds, or even thousands approaches before you just get your first date. There is a possibility that you get lost somewhere in the process, and give up before getting to any sort of result.
This is a pitfall you have to be aware of if you go that route. Getting your first date is not your goal, it is your starting point. Your goal is to get one date per week, every week consistently. The earliest you can get there, the earliest you can start to learn the later phases of Seduction – which is the real deal in my opinion. So go for it if you want, but never lose sight of the goal and don’t get stuck.
Girls Chase is an excellent online resource to becoming good at cold approach. Check it out!
Online dating
It does not take as much balls than cold approach, so you won’t make as much impression as from in-person approach. But if you can find good quality pictures of yourself, and if you are in a densely populated area, you could be pulling dates easily within a few months.
On the negative sides, you need to be in a big city so as to have enough numbers. Also, you will have to navigate your way in a sea of bullshit, in order to find one quality girl: the online dating apps are full of fake profiles, or fatty girls, or transsexuals, or prostitutes and other sugar babies. And some girls are here just to increase their Instagram following. Finally, know that you are competing with a lot of guys – much more than in cold approach.
Conclusion: When do you know you have succeeded
In order to give you an idea of what you are shooting for, here is the kind of criteria to tell you have reached your objectives.
- You have slept with around 30 to 50 girls. Maybe more.
- You know how to get one new date per week, or more, if you put in the effort
- For each new girl you date, you end up in bed 30% to 70% of the time
In addition, you already have experienced some incredible things that you previously thought impossible, such as:
- sleep with 20+ different women in a year
- Regularly see 3 girls or more each week
- Have yourself some fun holidays
- Maybe experience more kinky stuff such as a threesome
- etc…
If you devote the right amount of time and effort, you could get there after somewhere between one to three years.
The beauty of it is, if you learn how to avoid setting wrong expectations with any of your partners, you can pull it off with no unnecessary heartaches. You will find that women are much more open to casual and light relationships than they care to admit.
And that’s it, dear Reader, here is my guide to Getting Started in Seduction. In my next installment of this series in Seduction, I will be speaking about the three main steps of a smooth Seduction.
Yours,
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