So you have decided to follow my advice to get started in Seduction, and, one way or another, you managed to land a date with a girl. Congratulations! So what happens now? Well, there are three essential steps you need to follow each time for a smooth Seduction.
The Three Steps of a Smooth Seduction: Overview
Having a clear plan for the date
For most guys out there, the only plan is to go to the date, see how it goes, and try to secure a second date. Maybe getting a kiss. No wonder that the date ends in limbo later on.
Simply having a clear plan in mind for the date, from start to finish, will boost your chances of success considerably. It is the one most important thing you can do to succeed. You as a man are expected to lead: it is your responsibility to successfully conclude this date in the sexual satisfaction of both.
Overview of the date
The three steps you need to go through during your date are:
- Step 1. Meet her and bring her to your planned venue, and run the date. That involves making her physically and emotionally comfortable with you.
- Step 2. After some face time, end the date and have her follow you to your place
- Step 3. At your place, smoothly escalate her physically into sex.
And make sure you have enough time in front of you to go through all these steps in the course of one date:
- Allow for transit time between your initial meeting place, and your venue.
- Plan to spend one to two hours (maximum) at the venue.
- Allow for transit time between your venue and your Seduction location
- And allow for at least one hour to complete your sexual escalation at home.
Overall, to go through all three steps, you will need at least four hours in front of you.
You have to keep that in mind when you setup the date with your girl! You should be discreetly polling for her own availability as well, and make sure she has plenty of time ahead. And you should start the date early enough so that you have time to conclude.
If, during the date, you find out that she won’t have the required amount of time, remember that it is much better for your chances at a future date if you are the one ending the date! The key to getting another date is leave her wanting for more.
You absolutely need a Seduction location
Last, but not least, make sure you have a private place where you can take her to after your date, and happily conclude the story. What I usually call “take her home”, although it could be any place private. If you don’t have one, you will not get anywhere: you need to be able to go all the way!
So if you live with your parents, or with a flatmate, or any other similar situation, you absolutely need to give this a serious thought: have a private place where you can bring her after the date.
Find a way, but have this sorted out before the date. Worse case scenario, there are cheap deals available on AirBnB.
Step 1. Running the date
The setting
You absolutely need to avoid the conventional dating cliches. Throw out these ideas of a face to face date in a restaurant. Or a cinema date. Or a fun date along with friends. They are counterproductive dating models!
Understand that, in conventional dating, the man is supposed to showcase his talents and the woman is supposed to decide. When your date setting says “conventional dating”, you are implicitly framing yourself as the candidate boyfriend, and establishing her in the role of the chooser. Don’t do that!
You need the exact opposite of this. The sexually confident, dominant male that she is dreaming about is the one in control all the time from the beginning to the end.
Instead of a conventional dating template, I recommend a much simpler one such as a coffee shop, or the upscale version of it (if you can afford it) which is a drink in a lounge bar.
You can also try a cooking date – where you both meet at your place and cook some dish. Some girls will be open to that on a first date (yes!), although you will have to carefully test waters if she’s OK before proposing. If you’re in doubt, a date in a lounge bar is a safer option.
In any case, the location you choose should be as low social pressure as possible. Social pressure is the pressure you feel when there are a lot of people around you, possibly looking at you, forcing you to behave in socially acceptable ways. You may not care too much about it, but I guarantee you that for a woman it is a huge thing! To avoid all sort of problems, choose a place not too crowded.
Also make sure that you do not sit face to face as it is too confrontational, and make it harder for physical contact. Instead, sit side by side whenever possible, or at 90 degree otherwise. It usually helps to reduce the distance, and is psychologically easier that face to face.
Building emotional comfort
Your goal is to bring her in the bed later on. And in order for that to happen, she needs first to be emotionally comfortable with you. This is where a low social pressure place (where she doesn’t have to worry about onlookers) will help a lot.
But the next big thing to make her comfortable is this: make her speak!
She should be doing most of the talking, and you should be actively listening to her, only stepping in to direct the flow of the conversation. It is so simple! Men insist on talking about themselves on a date, when really what they should do is to shut up and let her do the talking.
There is no need to brag. No need to showcase yourself. No need to try to “make her like you”. And no need to impress her.
Women have a huge need for attention. Just capitalize on that. Make her speak, make her feel that she has your attention, and she will like you more for it.
Building physical comfort
Later in the same evening, if all goes well, you will be making love to her. It can’t get more physical than that. For that to happen, she must be comfortable with your physical presence as well.
That’s why it is extremely important to establish a physical connection with her from the very beginning. The longer you wait, the more awkward it will feel, so it is best to start very early on.
The idea is to escalate your physical touch. It must come from a position of authority, in absolute calm and self confidence. You proceed through the following phases:
- “Incidental touch” – to initiate contact and break the touch barrier
- “deliberate touch” – where it is obvious that you are touching her on purpose
- “daring touch” – where you become bolder.
Between each step, you evaluate and take feedback from her degree of comfort with what you just did, before stepping up. When you become more daring, you can help her accept what you just did by wrapping it with some light sexy comment.
For the details on touch escalation, check my post here.
Building her sexual excitement
What I call sexual tension. It is all in the vibe. It must be abundantly clear to her, from the context, from the body language, and from the implied meanings, that you are evaluating her sexually. But at the same time this is no big deal for you and you could walk away if it came to that. And in any case, you appear unfazed by her beauty.
Check my guide on how to do this!
If you are able to create a vibe like this, you are good to go!
However as a beginner it will take time to learn how to do that correctly. In any case, you should proceed to step 2 as per the plan no matter what.
How long you really need
We tend to overestimate the time we actually need in building the human connection with her – and overdo it. In reality, what you really need is no longer than two hours of face time – if you focused on her as I described above.
That seems little. But the reality is she liked you well enough to show up to you date. For a real, in depth connection, you will have all the time after you made love to her.
If you spend more time than that, there is a real chance that you end up lost somewhere in the process!
So… two hours is good enough. It is time to step up now!
Step 2. Taking her home
This part will be the hardest part for you especially if you are completely new to this. With time and experience you become much better at reading the covert signs of interest she is sending – which can be very subtle – so you will have a very reasonable idea of her buying temperature.
But not at first. Initially you won’t be able to pick up the clues she is sending you. You will be in doubt of whether she likes you enough to follow you at home. Your own lack of self assurance will prompt you to wait until you have more “proofs” of her interest. Your brain will come with all sort of excuses to defer any bold move to a further date.
The problem is, no matter how much you think this date went well, you may not have another date. From her perspective, she may think she was too obvious in her display of interest, and may interpret your lack of move as a lack of sexual interest. And if that’s the case, you are on your way to the Friend Zone.
The main cues to watch for on a date are:
- how warm was her reception to your touch
- how excited she sounded when speaking about herself
There are more, but these are the main ones. If you get these, you are good! But if you don’t get these, you may be good anyway. In any case, your best chance is still to make your move now.
So, about one or two hours into the date, it is now time to step up. You settle the bill (or split it with her) then tell her it’s time to go. Take her hand in yours and lead her to your car. You have your excuse ready: “Let’s go and listen to some cool jazz music” or anything that suits you better. If she asks where is that, look at her in a self confident way and smile: “it’s in my home!” The key here is to tell her, not ask her.
You need to wrap it with some smooth, cool authority, like if the sale has already been agreed. If you ask her opinion, be aware that the Good Girl side of her will kick in to tell her “I am not that sort of girl”, even if she is dying to follow you. By taking a smooth authority, you are framing your offer to go home like she has no other choice. She can shut this little internal voice by rationalizing “Well, I didn’t have any choice!”
In the car to your home, NOW is the time for you doing all the talking. You want to keep her logical mind occupied during the transit trip. You want to keep the good mood going and not let the temperature go down.
When arrived, take her hand in yours and lead her into your home.
Step 3. Escalating physically
Whenever there is a situation where sex should be logically taking place, but doesn’t happen, it sends some serious messages to her subconscious mind, such as:
“He doesn’t like me this way. Therefore this must be friendship.”
Which means you may not be able to see her again. Or if you do, she will make it harder for you to succeed. Be very careful, because deep inside her, she will resent your lack of action as a rejection of her feminine charms. In an extreme case, this could even lead her to hate your guts!
In my opinion, a man cannot afford to take a woman at home and let her go without a serious, solid attempt to fuck her.
So now that you have her in your home, there is no turning back, and you must lead this to a happy conclusion. I have good news: if you managed to bring her to your home, you are now much more likely to succeed in this task.
The physical escalation
This deserves a full post in itself, but let me give an overview here.
In essence, physical escalation is no different from the touch escalation you did earlier – except that now you are increasingly daring until you become outright sexual.
Start by making her comfortable on your couch, put some relaxing music in the background, and serve her something to drink. Sit next to her, chat her, and while chatting the whole time, start touching her. Hopefully this is just the natural continuation of all the touching you did during the date.
You gradually escalate your touch from “deliberate touch” phase, to “daring touch”, and then “overtly sexual touch”. At each step, you evaluate her degree of comfort. If you feel any sort of discomfort, just step back a little bit, then resume. Otherwise, you step up.
You are ultimately aiming to extract all these feminine charms out of their clothes, expose them, kiss them, and in the process of doing that, arouse her.
In the process of escalation, you should use and abuse of the following, which are all arousing to her:
- Caressing her bare skin
- Using your sexiest voice
- Whispering to her ear
- Masculine assurance
- And persistence
But your ultimate weapon for hard cases is this: take her hand and place it on your hard on. This is VERY arousing for a woman. Try it and watch her now escalating YOU.
Her resistance
You should expect some resistance to your escalation. Girls are supposed to resist, and not make it easy for you, if only for their own self respect. But you can also view that as a test of your manly resolve.
In any case, do not bow at her first signs of resistance. Instead, persist in your escalation through her resistance.
The way to do that is to step back, give her some space, talk about something else… for five minutes. Then get close to her again, and resume what you were doing as if nothing happened.
When she REALLY means NO: if after a reasonable amount of good persistence, she still resists insistently, then you need to take this as a real No. If this is the case, then you just stop, be nice, and drive her back to her home.
The real NO is a very thin line that we should not cross. Just be aware that the only way to decide of it’s a token NO or a real NO is to try and persist through it. If you are in doubt, you can simply let her know that she is free to go any time. If, after you hinted at going back home, you notice that she is still sticking around, this is a reasonable indication that you should continue to persist.
When she is ready
In many cases, she will get very horny quickly and out of control before you know it. But in other cases you may want to watch for more subtle signs of arousal. One of the surest signs is a change in her breathing pattern – louder, and slower.
When you are there, you are good to go and to make love to her!
Parting thoughts
The first time of your life that you successfully take a woman from a first date to bed, in the course of one evening, will be an epiphany for you. It was definitely for me! And it will unlock a universe of possibilities that you didn’t suspect.
The above template is very powerful, because it positions you as a smooth, sexually confident confident man who takes charge of her, and this is a complete turn on for her!
Use your new power responsibly.
What next?
You will normally notice one thing: the dynamics of the interaction with her changes. She is now the one pursuing you! And suddenly, you are the one in the position of choice! That, dear Reader, is another reason to get together with your girls by seducing them in this way 😃.
At this point, many guys are afraid to get locked into commitment, and feel the need of becoming cold and distant, and make it a one night stand.
You are not obliged to see her again if you didn’t like her that much after all, but no need to become a jerk.
However if you liked her, know that there are ways of getting her into a light, casual, mutually satisfying relationship that will not demand commitment. In fact, more girls are open to this sort of relationships than they care to admit.
The fear of commitment shouldn’t be a cause to make it a one night stand.
So if you liked her, why not seeing her again!
Yours,
